Anxiously Awaiting

Hey, I'm back and I have anticipatory vibes going on because I actually went out and auditioned for a lead role in a no-budget film called "Escape from Echo". It's based on a short film called "Invasion". I thought I have nothing to lose so I might as well get out there and do something that scares me. It was fun, a little nerve-wracking. It's not as bad as I thought it would be but the waiting game is a bummer. I should be hearing back soon-the guy said by the end of the week. The part I auditioned for is a girl named Samantha (I've always loved that name-reminds me of Alyssa Milano's character in "Who's the Boss?) and she has escaped a slave camp and traveled 2 days to find this guy named Nick. I hope I get the part. That would be such a thrill. If not, I hope at least to get representation from McCarty Agency. Either way, I'd like to continue training in acting because I do know deep down that I'm not a stellar actor-yet. I am a movie star, don't get me wrong. That is my affirmation and belief about my inner character. I just need to advance toward my full maturity and that means painful rejection and mistakes along the way. I know it's no fun being turned down and I tend to throw in the towel easily if at first I don't succeed but that's the only way I'll grow. I'm in a funk today. It's cold and gray outside and I think I'll take a nap soon. I just don't have anything going on today. I need to stir up a little trouble just to feel like a dynamic person.
Here's something kinda interesting to tickle your brain. Ever heard of Nad's natural hair removal gel? Those infomercials with the sticky green goo? Well, I got me some of that stuff at my local grocer and guess what? It works! And I love having smooth whatever-I-want for quite a long time. I must like pain just a wee bit because it does hurt but it hurts so good. Whatever that means.
Oh, you know what else? I went with my amazingly fabulous younger sister Mandy to her kickboxing class last night and it truly kicked my booty! I was red in the face, sweating ev-er-y-where and dying for breath. Mandy warned me about the TURBO sessions that come up every so often. It's when you're dying to take a water break and about ready to fall on the floor. Then suddenly this siren rings out and guess what? You have to throw yourself into a 2 minute anaerobic torture routine! By the end you're thinking-I'm so exhausted but somehow my body keeps moving-I feel strangely detached from it. Can this really be good for you? I look around and see limp bodies and zombie eyes trying lamely to mimic the instructor's moves. I must admit I was trying to look cool and focused while I was doing my stuff. I pictured myself as a hardcore kickboxer who had to fight to stay alive. It was invigorating-exhilarating-liberating and then my heart wanted to drop dead. I had this uncanny suspicion that I'd wake up SORE this morning and flop on the ground when I tried to get out of bed. Miraculously, I was pretty much fine except for some shoulder/bicep soreness. So I guess I am pretty hardcore. I got clout now-watch out! Here comes the tough-as-nails girl who ain't afraid to bust out some killa moves on ya if you so much as look at her wrong.
Now for a dramatic departure from that topic: I'm lucky that I have Asian blood in my veins. Asians are famous for keeping their youthful looks long time! So it helps with the whole late bloomer thing I've got going on. I don't know if this is just flattery to get me to loosen up and smile but the photographer from my photo shoot said I looked like I was 18. That sure did make me feel like a million bucks. Reminds me of another time (this was 3 years ago, mind you). We lived in an apartment and had 2 kids at the time. Our old washing machine had gone the way of all the earth and I'd haul our laundry to the corner coin-op. So I'm loading up a machine when some pre-pubescent punks are knocking on the glass windows at me and goofing off. I just mind my own business but I know they're thinking I'm kinda cute or something. I'm smiling to myself and ignoring them. Then they get up the guts to come in and approach me. One of them says "so-and-so thinks you're hot". I decided to teach them a lesson. I asked them how old they thought I was. They said 16. I told them how old I really was and that I had 2 kids. Ha Ha-Boo ya! What does Boo ya mean anyway? I can figure out the essence of it by the context and intonation and what-not but where did it the words come from? Kinda like burn on you or (my husband's favorite) 'moted!
You know, I kind of have this radar thing where I can tell pretty accurately when someone is attracted to me and staring at me and such. You know what I'm talking about. There's eye contact and there's a spark of interest in their eyes. The body language is betraying their inner feelings. And you just wave at them with your gold wedding band glinting in the light and laugh as you speed away-just like Father of the Bride. No, I'm not that cruel. I just figure it's a biological instinct that can't be helped so I'm sympathetic and friendly in a down-to-earth way. At least I imagine myself that way. My imagination and the stark reality of things, I've come to learn, are two distant worlds. But I'd rather have things my way in my own little brain than to be told that in truth the guy was staring into space and I happened to be where his eyes rested.
I'm hungry. So I'd better skiddadle and get me to the kitchen.
Laters!-Angie